drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
