They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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