At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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