I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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