She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
