At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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