His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
