I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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