i think my mom watched the whole time
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He keeps bees of course he's weird
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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