So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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