Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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