Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
being pregnant is like rehab
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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