Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
