Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
