ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm just crazy horny about you
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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