I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
