I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
