I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
