Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
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she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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