that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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