That's when you crack a 10am beer
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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