4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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