dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
