Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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