I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
