I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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