his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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