Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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