I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you never un-have a 4some
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
