so that wasnt chicken after all
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
