Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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