Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
