I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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