If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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