I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
