Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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