physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
