Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
