I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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