Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
