Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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