Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
