My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
