glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
