I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
