you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
