tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
