I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
