she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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