does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize