so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
