One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
