So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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