This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
