i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
