Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
