you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
