Yo dont text me then not text me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
