Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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