Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
