My liver just broke up with me...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he quoted the bible to break up with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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